H A P P Y * N E W * Y E A R

"But hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering 'it will be happier'..." 

~ Alfred Tennyson

We gather around loved ones and friends celebrating the passing year -- all of it's laughs, milestones, heartache, and fear -- and hope for the year to come to be happier. 

So many good and hard things this year. So many new experiences and dreams accomplished. And I am so grateful for all of these opportunities! 

This year I went to Europe for the first time, gazed at the Eiffel Tower, walked along the Thames, wandered through the winding roads of the Lake District and saw the sea for the very first time amoung the sand dunes on England's southern coast.

I moved away from home to go to school in the city, met some amazing people, went on loads of adventures, discovered a little bit more of myself and what a friend could be.

Each new experience has widened my horizons and increased my dreams. Even though it might not have steered me in a clear direction, I'm a little bit more made whole by it. 

Twenty-fourteen was good for me. 

Heres to the New Year!

IN THE ENDING...

It's started with nervous smiles and pounding hearts, fumbled textbooks and perfectly set up rooms, awkward first encounters and quiet classrooms.

It's been almost 14 wks. 

"The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either." ~ Ricky Gervais

When it seems like everyone knows each other, everyone has their routine down, it's intimidating. For the first couple of weeks I had to remind myself that this was not the case. We're all just pretending. We're all just pretending to keep it together, to create an environment that we want to live in. 

I was so lucky to be able to find a friend that I connected with almost instantaneously.

The first time I met her I was terrified. I was enveloped in my own insecurities. And it seemed like she had it all together. Like she was someone who just knew who she was and that was intimidating for someone who felt like I did not have it all together.

I am being completely honest when I say that she is the best thing that has happened to me this first semester of my University experience. And I know that I am a better version of myself just in knowing her.

I think we both opened up a little bit more than we expected the first real talk we ever had. We took a lot of walks and wanders down in the river valley that fall. A lot of adventures downtown Edmonton. A lot of jam-sessions laying on the grass on campus or relaxing in Teg. A lot more talks. A lot more dreaming.

It's safe to say she is one of my favourites! I'm so thankful for her support and friendship.

One of the things about being an overly stressed out child -- who frankly gave herself panic attacks on the regular -- living in a household with a psychologist as a father and a mother who was always there to comfort you. You learn how to cope efficiently with a high amount of stress, even if most of it was self-induced. And know that it was just self-induced.

I think what I'm getting at here is that I was surprised how calm I was in situations that would have stressed me to the max when I was younger.

I learned to do everything in my power to do well and learn to know it was enough. And that doing my best was enough.

And I am so happy that University has been good to me. It's going to be so different next semester and it makes me equally as scared as I was at the beginning of this one. It's startling to find yourself so comfortable in a situation and have it upended from one moment to the next. 

Change is scary. Getting comfortable is hard. I hope I can get comfortable in a new normal in this next stage of University as fast as I did in the first. 

But now in this moment I am being fired at by a squad of professors -- in the form of Finals. And I am so ready for this Christmas break. 

Even though after all this time I am only a little bit closer to figuring out who I am. Even though I'm not any closer at figuring out who I want to be. 

I think I like who I am becoming. 

And in the ending, there is nervous laughter and pounding hearts, 

papers strewn across desks and terms floating around aimlessly in your head, 

sad goodbyes 

and quiet classrooms.

Pinterest Inspiration // 10

1.  Unknown 2. The Virtual Typewriter 3. Wide Eyed Legless 4. Purl Soho 5. Steve Madden 6. The Vanilla Bean Blog

1. The ultimate minimal, chill outfit and somehow still appearing stylish.

2. "I will learn to love the skies I'm under." Mumford & Sons need to bring out a new album a.s.a.p.!!

3. A cute mini low bun -- #hairgoals

4. I am starting to crochet a white and black scarf using People Webs pattern...I'm starting to wish I had this colour though.

5. I have yet to pick up a pair of boots for winter... I have been wearing flats or else my ever trusty moccasin booties. The snow will be upon us any second now and I should really be prepared. This Steve Madden pair is definitely on my wishlist!

6. Can we just appreciate the oozing chocolate from this perfectly presented chocolate cake...mhmmm...

* * *

School has been such a learning curve so far, I've figured that university is where you discover you suck at what you always thought you were good at, I'm hoping this is just a product of being out of practice. Hopefully I will do better for this next set of essays that are coming due all too fast. 

On another note if you haven't already checked out Ben Howard's new album "I Forget Where We Were," I would strongly advise you to do so at your earliest convenience, Ben has a knack for such poetical and soothing lyrics and songs, it's been on repeat almost everyday the past couple of weeks. 

Also Taylor Swift. (Don't judge.) 

All I need's a whisper...

^^ Exploring the neighbourhood ^^

^^ Strathcona Farmers Market ^^

^^ Muttart Conservatory ^^

^^ William Hawrelak Park ^^

Fall has come, softly, with only one snow scare. These pictures mark my first month of University. And it was a good one. The calm before the storm. Suddenly homework and studying have slowed down these little escapes. Soon snow and the threat of final exams will keep us holed in, dawning oversized "Thunder-wear", sipping tea with a side of Chicago Mix. 

I am so anxious to be getting home for Thanksgiving. I've had so many reasons to be happy and inspired and challenged this past month and a half, but I am so ready to go home. I need a chance to revitalize and recharge. I need to eat a meal that doesn't consist of bagels with a side of fruit. And I miss my family. Winter will be coming in like a lion before we know it and I have to be ready for it. 

I feel at home in the city when I am out going on these excursions with my friends, taking pictures and taking things as they come, being adventurous. I also feel slightly disconcerted thinking about my place in school and my studies. I love my courses but I don't feel like I could ever take them anywhere. I want to know so badly what I am supposed to be doing in this life. I want to so badly have some sort of direction. 

All I need's a whisper...

Goodbye England xoxo

My final week in England was spent in Rye, we were able to take day trips to a couple of places along the coast via the train or bus, so we ended up going to Camber Sands, Brighton, and Dover.

 The third week of the trip was definitely kind of hard because I was already feeling a little homesick, but I have a lot of fond memories of this  last week, so without further ado, here are the last of my pictures in Europe:

^^ I cannot reiterate how cute this man was; every evening or morning he would come out and spend at least 15 min. on each window box, cutting off the dead ends of his flowers and general pruning. ^^

^^ Rye ^^

^^ We spent one day at Camber Sands during our week, and it was particularly special to me because it was the first time that I have seen the sea in real life!! *technically it was the English Channel but close enough ^^

^^ Camber Sands ^^

^^ The second time we visited the sea was at Brighton, we spent an afternoon there, just wandering around sitting out on the pebbly beach and soaking up the sun as it peaked out from the clouds. ^^

^^ Dover and St. Margaret's Bay ^^

We stayed at this really cute house in the centre of Rye, a medieval port town, that is filled with history. Our landlord, on the first day, introduced us to The Cobbles Tearoom and we ate there almost every single day. A full afternoon tea would include basically a whole lot of carbs, but more specifically, a cucumber sandwich, two hot scones with clotted cream and jam, as well as a huge slice of carrot cake! I can't even...I really want that carrot cake right now...

***

Since the last you've heard from me I've moved from home to Edmonton, four hours away, and am now attending University here. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, but I think I am some what settled -- ready for home and pumpkin pie though!! It's been quite the shock, both going back to school and moving out of my comfort zone and away from home at a new school. I currently have three essays due within the next couple of weeks and it's been a bit hectic/stressful trying to find the energy and thought for that. I am enrolled in English, Sociology, History, Pre-Calculus and Religion, so it is going to get busy really soon when mid-terms start coming into play...anyhow wish me luck!!

xoxo